First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage. What happens next isn’t what I would call a hit record, but it certainly holds true that once you put the baby carriage to use the love that got you the baby starts to fade away in the rear view mirror. Let’s be real Titus 2 women, with baby comes sleepless nights, stinky diaper pails, sippy cups and bottles with a mixture of water juice and likely a little bit of milk that you just didn’t bother to rise out ALLLL the way. None of that is sexy, cute, or appealing to any of the five senses. Laundry piles up, and casseroles need to be made, but one thing that should NEVER get repetitive is your interaction with the man that blessed you with that best job you’ll ever have. Your husband. At times he may seem like another one of your children; someone that you have to clean up after, make meals for, and help find the charger block to their iPad for the 600th time. But I assure you, he is so much more than that. In fact, there’s likely someone at his office, gym, church, or the kids school that thinks he’s the best thing since sliced bread AND Keurig coffee machines. So why isn’t he to you? The one that vowed to love, obey, and cherish you in the good times and bad. When you had to clip coupons for groceries and during the times that you could splurge on your favorite designer hand (or diaper) bag.
I know what you’re thinking oh but you’re not married to my husband, he won’t take out the trash unless I ask him 52 times, or he won’t help the kids with their homework, ect. But I’m certain that when you were dating him, you wouldn’t have to ask twice for things to get done. That’s because you were putting your best foot forward each and everytime you saw him. And no, I’m not referring to your outward appearance. Although that’s VERY important too! The way you spoke to him was full of love, respect and kindness. You gave him the best of what you had to offer, even if you didn’t feel like it. He was your priority, and everyone else had to wait. Even your very best girlfriend who likely served as your maid of honor. You would submit your body to him, and would make yourself available. (Hopefully not sexually until AFTER you were married). You would submit your ears to hear about his hopes, goals, and dreams no matter how far fetched they seemed at the time. You would submit your eyes to watching his favorite sporting events on TV. And you would commit your time to taking up new hobbies or learning all about something he liked to do in his downtime. You did all of those thing, and you did them with a huge smile on your face, and excitement in your heart because that was the man God has blessed you with, and you wanted to do everything you could to make him happy because he made you oh so happy.
Let’s fast forward to today…
The days seem long, you feel as though you can hardly squeeze in the time to clip and paint your toe nails, or read a few pages of your favorite devotional each day, let alone have time to listen to your husbands hopes for that awesome promotion next year, or HIS desire to loose 15lbs. When was the last time you asked your man where HE would like to go on the next family vacation? Ladies, I’m not trying to be the bad cop, but I am trying to gently yet firmly remind you to put your husband (which is a pretty sexy title) AFTER God and BEFORE your children on your priorities list. Submit yourself to him, and I promise he will submit himself to you. When your children see that you value daddy, they will value daddy. When they see you investing time into your marriage, they will strive to do the same in theirs someday. Marriage is suppose to be a reminder of the love Christ has for us. Unconditional, doesn’t keep track of faults, and everlasting.
Below I’m listing some tips and suggestions on how to maintain the courtship after marriage, and kids 🙂 there is no reason why you can’t implement some of them TODAY!
- Weekly, yes WEEKLY date nights. They can be at home, and can cost absolutely nothing. Turn your kitchen into a diner and make waffles or pancakes and bacon (men LOVE bacon) at 11 o’clock at night after the kids are in bed. Share a homemade milkshake at your bar or kitchen island.
- Read your Bible TOGETHER. Listen to what the spiritual head has been hearing from God. I’m sure it will knock your socks off! You should be excited to know what your man of God has been talking to The Lord about.
- Talk. It sounds pretty simple but when was the last time you had a conversation with each other about the next comic book movie that’s coming out, a new recipe you want to try, or something you learned in your ladies Bible study. 20 minutes of conversation about something not regarding the children, bills, or household chores goes a loooooong way!
- Clock out time: a set time every night that you clock out for the day including social media, TV, the phone and go to bed. Have pillow talk, and drift off to sleep TOGETHER. The more rested you are the better partners you will be for each other the next day, and better parents you’ll be for your children.
- Boundaries! Set them for your children. Let them know your bedroom is off limits for them, their toys, books, and electronics. Have the conversation with them that when your bedroom door is closed mommy and daddy are spending alone time together, or are having sometime to refresh and relax. The entire house is the children’s, but the bedroom should always be a kid free zone. Your marriage is sacred, and your marital bedroom should be also.
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:22-24